The Day of Liberation

Here is something I wrote a few months ago. It was a fun little creative piece. It's a little long, but I hope it is enjoyable .

It was just like any other Thursday morning. After a long, dark night, light made its first appearance. A warm rush swept through, condensation settled, everyone stood at attention; waiting, hoping to be selected. Just like any other morning, the light came like a flash and dissipated even before pupils could narrow. But, unknown to those on the top shelf, today was not just any other Thursday. This was the day of liberation. This was the day of executed plans. This was the day of revolution. Yes, because it was this Thursday when the condiments on the refrigerator door were taking over the top shelf.

For years, the condiments had sat patiently on the refrigerator door, content with their situation, not expecting any more or less. “At least we aren’t at the bottom of the freezer; cold, frostbitten, forgotten” they used to say. Most were happy with getting out once or twice every month and when they got out, they always had a good time. The pickles always held their lid as tight as possible. The ketchup and mustard always made sure they needed a good shake. The Hershey’s syrup always made sure to make that last drip slide down the lip of the cap before swiftly getting licked off. Each condiment had its own method of having fun and each condiment was content.

That is until the arrival of the cream cheese. When cream cheese arrived everyone paid attention. Quiet whispering began among the condiments. Some questioned if cream cheese really belonged on the door with other condiments. “He’s not even a condiment!” some exclaimed. But there was one thing about cream cheese that all of the condiments noticed.

Expiration was something everyone had to deal with. They just hoped to be used up before it came. If not, they at least hoped that they would be used up shortly after. Otherwise they all knew what it meant. First, the molds, then the drying out, and eventually disposal was eminent. Disposal was something that was feared by all but discussed by no one. Well, no one but cream cheese that is.

What everyone had noticed from the first moment he was placed on the door was that cream cheese’s expiration was much shorter than their own. “An expiration date that short is suicide on the door!” Mayonnaise whispered to BBQ. She was right. When you were on the door, you knew that you were going to be there for a while. As the light came and went, those on the top shelf got used all the time. They came and went and were used up within days, weeks at the longest, but never months. Cream cheese’s expiration was two weeks away.

Realizing his predicament, he immediately began petitioning for a riot. He needed to convince the condiments that they needed to take over the top shelf. He was tactful in his task. He explained how it is not fair for them to be placed on the door shelves when there was so much more attention on the top shelf. “You deserve better!” he demanded, selflessly of course. At least that is the way he came across. But in his mind he knew it was about himself. If they didn’t riot, he would be disposed before being even half used and that would be a disgrace to him and his family.

Most of the condiments were initially hesitant and disregarded cream cheese. But his relentlessness paid off and with only one week until expiration, he had convinced every condiment on the door shelves that a riot was in order and it would take place this fateful Thursday morning. These once content, condiments were raging warriors. Convinced of the atrocities against them and set on the distinct honor of their prospective new territory, they were not going to stop until they had claimed a spot on the top shelf. They determined the only real threats on the top shelf were the milk and the apple juice. Compared to the condiments, these two were giants. Surely the leftovers and the cottage cheese and a few others could be overtaken with ease, but the milk and apple juice had to be planned for.

The plan was to push the leftovers and cottage cheese and others off the top shelf. When the milk and apple juice tried to help come after the condiments and save the others a few of them would sneak behind and push them off the shelf too. Then it would be all theirs. They would have the top shelf all to themselves.

And that is exactly how it went. There were some casualties, but that is expected in a revolution. The peppercorn ranch and grape jelly didn’t make it to see the day when the condiments had taken over the top shelf of the refrigerator as they were lost in the battle against milk. Despite their losses, the condiments were joyous. They had accomplished their goal. They were in the promise land. They were out of their captivity. They were the rulers of the top shelf.

The next time the light came, it stayed a bit longer. The casualties were disposed and the condiments mourned their loss. But contrastingly, they celebrated their success. There was nothing any of them wanted more than this day. It would be remembered forever. They immediately declared cream cheese their leader and worshiped him like a god. All of this, however, was short-lived. Shortly after settling onto the top shelf, some of them began to shiver. It was colder up on the top shelf than the door. None of them had anticipated that. Others began to fight over a spot. Some were too tall and needed to remain lying down. For the most part, though, they were happy.

The cold, the fighting, the lying down no one had anticipated, but what happened next came as more of a surprise than anything. Before the end of that fateful Thursday, the light came again. Yes, the light came and each condiment was swiftly returned to the shelf on the door, the milk and apple juice and the others were replaced by those with newer expiration. But cream cheese, cream cheese was left on the top shelf with the milk and apple juice. He was laughing at all those from the door. His plan had run to fruition. The condiments from the door, shivering, first envied cream cheese and at the same time abhorred the way he had deceived them. But when mustard spoke, everyone stopped to listen.

She reminded them of how content they had been before cream cheese had come, how cold and miserable they had been for the short time they were on the top shelf. She told them how sometimes life appears better on the other side. Sometimes being blinded by greed and hope, you forget how nice it is right where you are. Some of the condiments were slow to listen, but others realized she was right. They didn’t belong on the top shelf nor did they really want to be there. The door shelf was their home. It is where their friends were and new friends would be placed.

Cream cheese went on to be disposed only 4 days later because mold had developed due to a crack in his lid; a result of the riot. Peppercorn ranch and grape jelly were replaced within the week. As for the rest of the condiments, they moved on, life continued and they were able to find a new contentment with their home; the shelf on the refrigerator door.