Olive Garden - Italian Elegance

I recently went back to Olive Garden for the first time in over three years. All I can say is; what have I been missing? From the time I rolled out my chair to sit down at the glossy wooden table, I knew I had been missing true Italian elegance.

Going back a few, forty, minutes to when we arrived, we were graciously greeted by the young woman who was taking names. The trainee, who couldn't figure out the concept of two for non-smoking was a nice touch. At first I thought maybe she only speaks Italian, but I was wrong. While waiting for the table, it was nice to watch anywhere between four and six servers hanging out at the bar all the while ten to fifteen tables were patiently waiting for their next occupants.

After being seated, we were greeted in style by our server. She was courteous enough to ask how we were doing. When we directed the same question back we got a thirty second spiel about how she would be great if she weren't at work.

I ordered the bottomless bowl of soup, salad and breadsticks. I'm guessing that bottomless means two, because after I finished my second bowl, our server was gone until our bill arrived. The second batch of breadsticks was cold. The half a bowl of salad was filled with my favorite type of lettuce; the iceberg kind that comes in big chunks. It’s kind of crunchy! I guess the bottomless glass of water wasn't included in the deal because once my water was gone, that was it. Upon receiving the bill, after waiting ten minutes without seeing the server, I asked for some water to wash down my cold breadstick and after a big sigh and a little hesitation, I got her to get it for me. I think she had just returned from a smoke break or something. She kind of reeked, and that's my best guess. You know, Italians like to smoke, so it was a nice effect.

My wife's meal was nice. She ordered something with a real fancy Italian name, and got a small piece of overcooked chicken on top of some boxed spaghetti. You know, the kind that comes out of one of those green boxes.

There was much more going on all around us as tables were pushed together for the party of twenty that came in and sat next to us. The ratio of parents to children was something like 1 to 8. I know Italian families stick together, but from the looks of this family, I don’t think they were Italian.

After paying, we left. Not long after, on the way home, I was greeted with the indigestion that I remembered so vividly from over three years ago. It is amazing how soup, salad, and breadsticks can do that to you.

That night we were talking and anxiously waiting until the next time we venture out for true Italian elegance. Thanks Olive Garden, for the experience we'd been waiting for. We'll be sure to call on you the next time we want a dose of Italian elegance.